Episode: August 10 2011

Jack's House.
Victor's explaining to Jack that Diane signed Kyle over to him, so if Jack would kindly crate the boy or however they transport children these days Victor would appreciate it. Jack tears up the paperwork, but Victor tattoos "Property Victor Newman HANDS OFF" on Kyle's ass which, I understand, is totally legally binding.

Uh, yeah, Jack. That's exactly how you nullify a contract

GCAC Bar.
Ashley's slurpin' some vino and calling Nick about how fragile Victoria is. Nick asks WTF is up with Ashley's phone and we flashback to -

Plywood Forest.
Diane making Ashley feel like shit. Ashley shoving Diane to the ground with her freakishly powerful upper body strength. Boy, those pipe-cleaner arms of hers sure are dangerous!

GCAC Bar.
Well, that didn't explain what happened to her phone, but Ashley says she 'misplaced' it. The same way someone 'misplaced' a rock into Diane's head ten times. Nick doesn't tell Ashley that the 'misplaced' phone contains a recording of him beating the holy shit out of Diane.

Tucker's "pad".
Tucker and Katherine lock horns.

GCAC Bar.
Ashley presses Nick for details of the message he left. Flashback to -

Plywood Forest.
- Nick, beating the holy shit out of Diane while his cell phone, lost on the ground, silently transmits every threat to Ashley's voice mail.

At the tone, the time will be ... up, for Nick.

GCAC Bar.
Nick doesn't even pretend to answer and gets off the phone quickly. Ashley leaves a perfectly good Merlot just sitting on the bar and runs out.

Restless Style.
Phyllis and Nick worry over Diane's death, then try to work on the magazine. Nick leaves her to do all the work, the dick.

GCPD Station.
Ronan sends Adam's ring to forensics. Then he stares at Phyllis' broken fake fingernail.

Restless Style.
Phyllis clackity-clacks some libelous story out with her EMERGENCY! manicure. Ring ring! It is Ronan to question her.

Jack's House.
Victor gloats about stealing Jack's son right from under his nose.

And perhaps I will steal your future children directly from your ball sack, hmmm?

Tucker's "pad".
Tucker's totally paranoid. Katherine plays like she's not a viscous harpy. Tucker kicks her ass to the curb.

Plywood Forest.
Oh, dumb crazy Ashley, with your flashlight in the dark woods, don't you know the crooks always return to the scene of the crime? Something off-screen startles her and she gasps. Must be something unspeakably horrible!

Restless Style.
Ronan douches his douchey douche into the office. He wants to know about the broken fingernail found at the crime scene. She snarks at him, he threatens grand jury. He's scarier.

Plywood Forest.
The something off-screen that startled Ashley, making her gasp? Nick Newman. So, yeah, something unspeakably horrible. And dickish. They ask each other why they're here, then stare dumbly. If there were a Mensa meeting, these schmoes would be emptying their trash cans for them.

Restless Style.
Coy Phyllis babbles about fake fingernails. Ronan examines her EMERGENCY! manicure while she sluts around. Then Ronan tells Phyllis he's spoken to the manicurist, who basically describes Phyllis' nails the morning after the murder as being like the filthy claws of a rabid raccoon after a night of brawling stray cats. Phyllis? Not so slutty anymore. She's a lyin' beeyotch and Ronan wants the truth. You're in the spotlight, gurl! Your favorite place! Why you ain't smilin'?

Blow 'im, Phyllis! It's your only hope!

Tucker's "pad".
Look, Katherine, nobody's buying your tepid shit. She accuses Tucker of being in the park the night of Diane's murder and he tells her she's wrong and to fuck off. She leaves, and Tucker finally has a chance to itch the poison ivy he got from being in the park the night of Diane's murder.

Jack's House.
Victor and Jack debate which of them is more likely to have killed Diane. The answer is, both of them. Both of them could easily have smashed her skull in. Assholes.

Restless Style.
Phyllis claims her hands were all nasty because she was doing manual labor, specifically, potting sunflowers with retarded Summer. Ronan doesn't buy it because, Phyllis and manual labor. Ronan leaves Phyllis alone and she calls Nick. Who doesn't answer.

Plywood Forest.
Ashley's looking for her phone. Nick's looking for it, too. Uh, bullshit Nick. They decide much too late that it's a bad idea to stay there at the murder scene and head off for coffee.

Tucker's "pad".
Tucker nurses his rash and tries to call Ashley but, voice mail.

He uses the same lotion on his ... other rashes...

Jack's House.
Kyle wanders in and Jack and Victor pretend to be nice people. Victor exits. Kyle wants to know more about his mom's death. Nosy little bastard.

GCAC.
At a table, Michael points out what an asshole Victor is for taking Kyle away from Jack. Victor tells him to shut his pie hole and get him that boy!

Jack's House.
Kyle and Jack blah blah Diane's dead blah.

Crimson Lights.
Nick admits to Ashley he was there the night of Diane's murder. Her cell phone probably recorded the fight he had with Diane. Ashley tells Nick she also confronted Diane and lost her phone in the process. Nosy Phyllis enters.

GCPD Station.
Katherine's talking to Ronan about stealing Chance's liver. He gives nary a crap. Off she hobbles.

Crimson Lights.
Ashley takes off. Phyllis tells Nick about Ronan busting Phyllis on the fingernail. At the coffee bar, Tucker greets Ashley.

Jack's House.
Unreliable Jack tells Kyle he's totally reliable.

GCAC.
Victor presses Michael to help him steal Kyle from Jack.

Crimson Lights.
Ashley cold-shoulders Tucker, but they coordinate their alibis. She leaves Tucker to brood.

GCPD Station.
Ronan and that fucking broken nail.

Get a room!

Crimson Lights.
Nick offers to call the DA and tell him to back off investigating Phyllis, which should totally arouse his suspicions so, great fucking plan Nicky boy! Phyllis reminds him that if her alibi falls apart, so does Nick's. She leaves and he gets a call - it's his voice message from Ashley's phone, talking about killing Diane! Hooray! Someone found Ashley's phone! Phew, that's a load off my mind. Also, someone out there has evidence to totally destroy Nick twice. Another load off my mind! Deacon, sitting at a lonely booth, says these words exactly: "Honey? I saw whatcha did." To nobody. He says it like he needs to come out of the gay-stereotype closet, which, huh.

Jack's House.
Blah blah nothing matters blah blah you're not alone. Kyle runs upstairs. Old Jack wants to follow, but geez, those things look kinda steep...

GCAC.
Michael reluctantly agrees to help Victor steal Kyle. After Mike leaves, Victor  reads a headline in the paper about the GCPD getting closer in their investigation. His flashback -

GCAC.
- has him stream-side, staring down at Diane's floating corpse. Yuck.