Episode: July 22 2011





Victoria's House.
She's carrying a delivered package labelled FRAGILE so it must contain her grasp on reality. She realizes suddenly that it's Billy's birthday, and debates whether or not giving him a broken heart was enough of a gift? Or should she get him some shattered dreams of a future with her, too? Decisions, decisions...

Why yes. Yes, you are exactly that.
Hospital.
Billy on the phone taking a happy b'day call from his sister Traci. He's all woe-is-me because he's alone on his birthday, until Ashley and Jack show up to give him a ride home. The nurse couldn't be happier to get rid of him.

Jail Visiting Room.
Sam with Sharon. Sam's got a bad feeling about Adam, because Sam's sane and observant. Sharon refuses to believe Adam would destroy evidence that could help her, because she's not sane and observant. He realizes she's dumb as a frozen stump and advises her to just trust him. She looks at him like he's describing nuclear fission to her.

Adam's Suite.
Diane's bragging to Adam about how she succeeded in transferring rights to her one and only son to a mind-fucking monstrosity. "Now all we have to do is kill you," Adam says to her, and again, he doesn't say the words 'pretend to' anywhere in there, which I think Diane should pay special attention to. So of course she doesn't.

Open your eyes, girl.
Tucker's "pad".
Tucker's trying to figure out business papers with his fucked up brain, which ain't hap'nin'. Doesn't help that parts of the papers are in actual Japanese. But he may not even know that.

"Mipple...smarple...smiple for. Makes perfect sense."
Hospital.
The nurse can't wait to wheel Billy's ass out of there. Jack and Ashley are throwing Billy a birthday party at Tucker's and it would be totally hilarious to make Tucker try to read all the birthday cards out loud. Slappy plorfdway, Boiley!

Victoria's House.
You wouldn't fucking believe me if I described what Victoria pulls out of the fragile box with mere words, so I'll just show it to you. Ahem:



I think it's best if I just leave it at that.

Jail Visiting Room.
Sharon totally incorrectly says that Sam doesn't have to worry about Adam. Sam tries to hammer some common sense into her and she's all just "la la la Adam's the coolest". Sharon doesn't deserve to be in prison for a crime she didn't commit, but are we all really safe when someone that dumb is allowed to wander free? It's quite the conundrum. Sam vows to find out about this evidence thing.

Adam's Suite.
Adam gives Diane all the shady paperwork needed to spirit Kyle out of the country secretly. Where the fuck does he get all this fake ID from? He must have stacks of it somewhere. They trade jabs about how the other one's an asshole and, yep. Both right.

Tucker's "pad".
Festively decorated for Billy's party with nothing. Tucker lets Billy and Jack in. Tucker lies that he's 100% fine and gets to work getting Billy drunk.

Victoria's House.
Ashley's dropped by to tell Victoria that Billy wasn't DUI in his accident. Victoria shows Ashley the painting and Ashley looks at it and goes, "Huh". Victoria wants to know what to do with it and Ashley suggests wiping her ass with it, setting it on fire and tossing the charred remains off the top of Chancellor Industries. Victoria decides to send a hand-scrawled note over to Billy's party with Ashley instead.

Jail Visiting Room.
Sexy fail-lawyer Leslie visits Sharon to let her know she's being shipped to the pen tonight. The DA is willing to strike a deal with Sharon, though...

Adam's Suite.
These two idiots are trying to book a flight to Europe for Kyle. Sam stops by to confront smug Adam about the memory card. Sam has abso-fucking-lutely no problem throwing down, and that good ol' country boy's got Adam slammed up against the door before Adam knows it's coming. Go get 'im, you hick!

"Tell you what, boy. I'll let you choose
which of your teeth I knock out."
Tucker's "pad".
Ashley's there and Tucker's getting her plastered, too. It's a wild party that consists of somberly sitting around talking about earning reports. Jack's like, "Double check my calculations" and Tucker's like, "WTF am I holding? Is this a duck?"

"Hey everyone! This party's theme is 'paperwork'!"
Adam's Suite.
The boys scuffle a bit, then get to the name-calling. Sam's convinced Adam's fucking Sharon over, and Adam denies it of course. Sam apologizes to Diane for being so rude in front of a purty lady before taking his leave.

Jail Visiting Room.
The DA will let Sharon stay in county lock up instead of the state penitentiary, if Sharon hands Adam to him on a silver platter. He's pissed that Adam's slipped through his fingers so many times. If Sharon admits Adam helped her escape she gets cushy treatment in the local jail while she appeals the ruling against her. Leslie's like, wake the fuck up bitch. Take the offer. Sharon is confused by this in particular and everything in general.

Tucker's "pad".
The birthday boy sits unnoticed and nodding off in the corner while the other three talk shop. They remember Billy exists and give him a teeny tiny present with his father's ugly granite bitch-slap ring in it. He's touched. Ashley gives Billy the note from Victoria. It's a totally emotionless greeting you would give to a co-worker whose name you don't quite remember. Billy's less touched.

Victoria's House.
Her son Reed has come to visit. He sticks the knife in by showing her a picture of her ex-husband's happy new baby, then twists it by asking why Billy doesn't live here anymore. He's got Newman blood in 'im, by Jove!

Jail Visiting Room.
Sam's returned. He thinks Adam's guilty of destroying the memory card. Sharon's starting to doubt Adam, and just two years too late! She tells him about the DA's deal. He tells her to take it. Adam stops by and blah blah but he still loves her and hopes she still loves him. Now the little hamster running around in the wheel in Sharon's head has no idea which way to go!

Diane's Suite.
Kyle enters, telling Diane what a swell day he had playing with his friends that he never ever wants to leave! So Diane tells him he's got to leave today and he's crushed and angry and refuses to go. He makes a good point about Diane sucking as a mother and as a human being. Wait 'til he finds out she's signed him over to Victor Newman. Hee!

"You sold me to WHO?!"
Victoria's House.
Victoria tries to explain why Billy's not there and maudlin blah.

Tucker's "pad".
Billy decides to flee this dead zone, followed by Jack. Tucker has no idea he was reading paperwork ten minutes ago, which means he's even worse than I thought he was. Ashley massages his shoulders, then asks him why he's never mentioned that he has a son. Drama!

Diane's Suite.
Kyle sulks but Diane's shipping his ass to Switzerland regardless. He loathes her with the burning heat of a thousand suns. There's a knock at the door - it's Jack, the wrench in Diane's plans. Hi Jack!

Crimson Lights.
Sam's on the phone, lying to little Piper back home that Sharon's just peachy keen.

Jail Visiting Room.
A real shot at freedom plus putting a known sociopath behind bars? Or rotting at the violent state pen and letting that same sociopath go free instead? This is Sharon's choice to make and she's fucking having trouble making it. A bus stops by the jailhouse every hour on the hour, Sharon, just toss Adam under it and be done with his ass. But, no, he's working her like Yo Yo Ma on the cello. She wants to break it off with him and he's nine kinds of guilt tripping her. And then? He fucking proposes to her. In jail. Romantic! Guard, a round of toilet champagne for everyone!

With this ring, I thee frame for murder.
Victoria's House.
Outside, Billy's about to knock but then decides to peep through the window like a creepy stalker pervert. He watches Victoria having a ball playing with her son and for no reason gets pissed at her and storms off.

No comments:

Post a Comment